Manifest A Soulmate Step Three
The biggest lesson that you’ll ever learn in our July series on how to Manifest A Soulmate Step Three is how to get into alignment with who you are… with your true self. One of the major problems that’s encountered in the search for love is Not Thoroughly Valuing Oneself. Many people suffer from low self-esteem or they try to be something that they’re not. If you find yourself in any way lacking, this will hold you back from love.
Low Self Esteem Makes Us Act Strangely
When you’re not in alignment with yourself, you may actually believe that some people are “out of your league,” or too good for you. Or you might be painfully shy about speaking with someone whom you’re attracted to. Those who undervalue themselves will accept a relationship that is abusive, or one that tears them down.
You might seriously think that you have to work really hard to get someone who’s attracted to you, and that you have to do lots of work to keep that guy or girl. Under such conditions, manipulation becomes rampant. For the manipulator, whether it’s trying to be a player or learning some supposed courting “rules,” he or she will act inappropriately when they feel that they’re not inherently worthy of love.
Let’s say that the one who undervalues themselves is you. You’ll feel that you can’t have love without doing something extraordinary. Or you may feel that you can’t reveal yourself to anyone (and therefore you keep yourself closed to relationship) because you are ashamed of who you are or your supposed flaws.
Perfect, Whole and Complete
The fact is that you are whole, perfect and complete. There is nothing that you can’t have or do. The sky is the limit in your love life. You are precious just by your very existence. The things that you are ashamed of are nothing in the face of your magnificence as a being. You are just as lovable and special as you were when you were a baby, and everyone was cooing over you!
As you shore up your self-worth and align with your being, you become highly magnetic in romance. Confidence is the one universal attractant and as you embody this quality, your love life gets great even before your soulmate shows up.
Example One
Brendan was an overweight kid in primary school, who was bullied while attending there and then also throughout all of his years in high school. He discovered the seduction community and learned all sorts of techniques to land women. It helped to boost his fragile self-esteem but it still didn’t produce the wife he so wanted.
He met Louise at the hospital when he broke his arm. She was also in the emergency room. His guard was down and he wasn’t using any of his ruses to land a woman. In his vulnerable state, he behaved with no pretense, just being himself. And this went over big with Louise, who was enchanted by this intelligent, sensitive man. She was hooked and they are now married with 3 kids. When he was most himself, love found him!
Example Two
Carolyn had consistently dated guys who cheated on her or treated her badly. It was very tough for her to let go of her ex, who constantly insulted her and flirted with other women. She needed to learn to see who she really was, and how wonderful she could be in a relationship. Also, to learn how to draw boundaries (which was hard for her), so that she wouldn’t allow denigration to take place.
As she learned to love herself as much as she had loved others, she began to see how unworthy the previous relationships had been of her. She imagined a man who adored her and treated her like a queen. She met Terry on-line and their romance quickly blossomed. He was the sexiest man who Carolyn had ever met, and he showered her with flowers and gifts.
It wasn’t easy for Carolyn to shake off a lifetime of questioning herself and accepting so little, but when she did, it paid off in a big way!
Exercise
Write down the ways that you question yourself or accept unworthy things into your life. For example:
What are your insecurities? Have you never dated anyone you were actually wildly attracted to? How do your fears of being unworthy come up in dating and relationship?
As you get clear on your self-esteem issues, it will become easier to align with who you are. Awareness is the first step to healing.
Create an affirmation for yourself, based on the insecurities that you wrote down. If you’re worried about a physical attribute like being bald, your affirmation might be: “I am a sexy bald man. My soulmate loves my head and is constantly massaging it.”
Or if you think certain people are out of your league, your affirmation might be: “I am good enough for anyone. My soulmate is hot and can’t see past me.”
Shape your affirmation to your own issues, make it in the present tense and let it only be a few sentences. Say it regularly, especially when your self-esteem issues arise. Say your affirmations to yourself when you are looking at your own reflection in the mirror. This is the most powerful method of making them work for you.
Also make a list of everything that is wonderful about you. Keep adding to it! And pull it out to read whenever you experience self-doubts.
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