What is Love?
When it comes to Love everyone has a different opinion about what love is and is not. The word “love” refers to different varieties of emotional states, feelings or attitudes which range from those of simple personal pleasures or desires to those characterising interpersonal affection and many forms of profound kindness, compassion, and benevolent concern for the good of others. Love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy.
The basis of a healthy life today is based on love, every minute, every second; we try to show others how much they mean to us. Though we can’t quantify love we know what it feels like to love and to be loved.
How to Become a More Loving Individual
Becoming a more loving individual is something that we must focus on if we are to achieve it. It involves “intent” if we are to learn to operate from our heartspace, not only with those within our family, but also when we interact within the community.
If you desire is to become more heart centred in all that you do, there are some simple exercises that you can do in order to become that. For example, you can set aside an hour each day and go and sit in a crowded area where you can observe people. Using the power of your focus and intention, you can project from your heart region the intention of love towards others. It won’t matter whether or not you know that individual because the goal is to learn to open up your heart chakra so that you can express unconditional love towards those around you.
Now normally, the vast majority of humans will have constant chatter going on in their head while they are watching those going past. There will be all kinds of judgements about how the person is dressed, how they carry themselves, the colour of their skin or their race, whether or not they are attractive (in the one doing the observing’s opinion) and whether or not he or she thinks that the person being observed need to lose weight. Silence the mind and simply love that man, woman or child. Send out a burst of love from your heart to them, and silently wish them well as they go about their day.
If you practice this exercise on a regular basis, you will find that you become less judgmental and more tolerant and loving towards those that you meet in your daily life. The next step in opening your heart to unconditional love is learning to forgive.
Learning to Forgive
It doesn’t matter who you are or how hard you try to do the right thing, at some stage you’re going to let someone in your life down. Not usually through intending to do so (unless you’re evil), but just through miscommunications or forgetfulness or not being able to fulfill a promise made to them. You’re going to then need to rely on him or her to forgive you if you would like your friendship or relationship to last. The same goes for you. When others let you down or forget to fulfill an agreement, or they break something or lose something that belongs to you, if you value that friendship, you’re going to have to learn to forgive.
How does one forgive? Easy. You drop thinking about what went wrong and you start fresh in your mind by interacting with your friend or partner in the present moment the next time you see or speak to them. You pick yourself up and you keep going, without looking back. It’s called “letting go”, and I’ll be the first to admit that even I haven’t mastered that aspect of life yet. However, forgiveness is vital if you wish to be free to move forward without carrying a lot of baggage with you.
Plus, it helps your heart chakra to open up so that more love can go from you to others, as well as you being able to receive more love in your own life from others. By opening your heartspace through the expansive effect of being able to forgive, you become wider in your ability to receive more love as well. No one ever mentions that when they talk about forgiveness because a lot of people don’t actually know, however, when you understand that this is what happens as a result of learning to forgive, it actually gives you a huge incentive to learn how to do it.
Now, moving on to the kind of love that we have when we’re in a relationship – romantic love.
Romantic Love: How to Find a Relationship that Lasts
Love between spouses enhances us mentally, emotionally and physically. In order to have a healthy relationship love is the number one catalyst. Love is required in every aspect of our life. Sometimes, finding someone we want to share our lives with can seem like an impossible task to overcome. But then we shouldn’t despair, even if we feel burned out by traditional and online dating. Even if our past relationships didn’t last long, we can still learn how to find and keep lasting love.
In relationships, finding the right partner is often a difficult journey, due to several reasons. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship. This would certainly cause you to doubt that such a thing even exists. Maybe your dating history consists only of short, abrupt relationships that end as soon as they start. Thus you don’t know how to make a relationship last. Also, the problem could be that you are attracted to the wrong type of man or woman. So you keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past.
Another reason is that possibly you’re not putting yourself in the best environment to meet the right person, or that in situations when you do, you don’t feel confident enough to approach that someone. Whatever the case may be, it is important to believe that a healthy romantic relationship for you exists in the future.
Guide to Finding and Keeping Love
Give yourself a reality check
If you’re inclined to make the mistake of daydreaming about your goals instead of taking action, begin to change. No matter what field of your life we’re talking about, whether it be love, work, or relationships. The only way you’ll ever accomplish your dreams is by taking action. In order to find true love in your life you must put an end to such an attitude of procrastination. Give yourself a reality check, life is waiting for you! Go out more, put yourself out there, be proactive in your life and your love life will improve.
Don’t make your search for a relationship the centre of your life
Like they say, “love will find you”. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. Let your focus be on keeping yourself happy, and it will keep your life balanced. You’ll be a more interesting man or woman when you do finally meet a special partner.
Is your partner genuinely interested in your thoughts and feelings? You should feel comfortable expressing your own thoughts, opinions, and feelings around each other. Being playful, open, and able to laugh together in very important. Enjoying each other’s company helps strengthen the bond and make communication easy. Remember your partner is not a mind reader (well, not usually), so communicate. Tell him or her how you feel about a particular situation. Then when you both feel comfortable expressing your needs, fears, and desires, things will progress. The bond between you will become stronger and deeper.
Don’t Bond over your Wounds
Those with big, gaping empty holes in their hearts and souls are known as the Heartbroken. They tend to bond with others going through the same situations as they are. Most people tend to bond over each other’s pain and traumas. Do yourself a favour and don’t get involved with someone who is heartbroken. They usually only want a parental figure or a friend rather than needing a partner. People who are overloaded with issues tend to carry these issues into the new relationship. Unfortunately it’s you who then has to deal with those issues, whether you want to or not.
The best partner you will ever have is one who is ready to love you and cherish your shortcomings. While they shouldn’t be aiming to fix you, they shouldn’t also be expecting you to fix them, either. Wait for the right one with the potential to empower you and take you to the next level. If the man or woman whom you just met is going through a very unstable period, wait a bit. Just be a friend for a while until they are ready to love you fully and unconditionally.
No matter what this is the ultimate prize, he isn’t perfect, she isn’t perfect – no one is. There is a good saying about this. It goes: “it is not our ability to break up, but our willingness to make up that makes us human”. So, we should love unconditionally and show him or her that their mistakes don’t matter. Teach them that their flaws are beautiful, and show them why you cherish and love being around them. Let them see the feelings you have for them and how esteemed they are to you. Nothing relaxes the mind more than knowing that it is being cared for and looked after.
All of these steps are important in finding a loving partner. They hold the key to opening our hearts towards genuine feelings. But above all we should pay utmost attention to the last on the list. Although it may be last it is the most important of all. Love unconditionally.