Loving Relationships
Author: Rasheda Abdulla
How many times have we imagined what it will be like to be in love? From how they look, what race or nationality they will be to how much money they will make. Oh we know.
Along with the aesthetics of our love to be, we know how we want them to act and in particular, how we want them to treat us. We want to be loved entirely. But while having standards for the type of person we want to spend the rest of our life with is extremely important, we have to remember that we must be willing to reciprocate the same type of expectation we have for our significant other. It’s not about 50/50 in love, but about 100/100. That’s how you have a truly loving relationship. How much we are willing to put in must be equal to or more than what we get in return. Finding someone that will love us unconditionally means paying attention to character, ideals and on what and whom they place value. But that is only a piece of the puzzle.
Now here is the deal so listen up. Love is not about feelings of giddiness in your stomach when you see or think of your main squeeze, but it is a commitment shown through actions and because of that, you have to work at having a loving relationship. It is deliberate because let’s be real – butterflies soon take flight and all-night romp fests fade.
In my relationship of almost three years, I know exactly what I expect of my boyfriend and there have been times where I believed I was being a “good girlfriend” to him; but I found that being a “good girlfriend” and being what he needs are not the same thing.
I learned quickly that I had to do my part to make our relationship a loving one, to be the kind that I had envisioned all my life.
Loving relationships don’t criticise faults. The space you two share has to be one in which you both feel safe. Your mate has enough of the outside world bagging on them. They don’t need you enforcing any negativity.
Loving relationships show empathy. Some people are empathetic by nature. Others have to learn through practice. It is so important to understand where your mate is coming from and that means putting yourself in their shoes to see situations from their perspective.
Loving relationships are cultivated through open and honest dialogue… about everything. You cannot be afraid to express your feelings about an argument, your inner sexual fantasies you’d like to play out or your excitement about a situation. Cultivating a no judgment zone will enable you both to see one another for who each of you truly are.
Experiencing a truly loving and satisfying relationship does not rely solely on your mate. You have to do your part. And if you get nothing else from this post get that. The love you show the world will take work, it will take commitment and it will take you giving 100%.
