Mary’s Experience of Domestic Violence

It was love at first sight when I met my boyfriend James at a football game in high school. He and I met when my friends and I were leaving after the game, and he and I accidentally bumped into each other. It was match made it in heaven when I saw him – he is a handsome guy with jet black hair, deep glaring black eyes and a smile that could light up a room. Plus, his body was to die for. He had a jealous streak and a hot temper but I never paid that any mind. I still wonder sometimes why he wanted me when I was just an average girl with dark hair and brown eyes with an average body. It still puzzles me sometimes.

After initially getting to know each other, we started to spend a lot of time together every time chance we had. Sometimes I would stay over his house or he would stay over mine – that’s how close we were. After two years of dating I told him that I want us to get married because I thought that now is the right time, and we were no longer young teenagers anymore. We had a big argument that evening after he came home from work. Shouting was going on – lots of it – so much so that my neighbors even had to come over to find out if everything was okay with us. My boyfriend told them everything was fine but once the door was closed the argument started again.

“I am leaving you James” I whispered softly.

“You are what, Mary?!” He asked, trying to control the anger and temper in his voice.

“I am……..” I didn’t even get to finish my sentence when I felt a sting that went across my face and I fell to the ground. He had punched me. Next thing I could feel his strong hands around my neck trying to strangle me. I struggled underneath him, asking with what breath I was able to take, for him to let me go. After what seemed like tens of minutes of struggle, he finally did.

He ran his fingers through my hair and whispered in my ear, “You are mine Mary” and with that he left. I just sat there looking at the door wondering what was going on where is the sweet handsome guy who I adore. However, I was sure not going to stay around to find out, so I packed some of my things and left.

On my way over to Chelsea’s house I called her and let her know what went on and that I was coming to stay for a while. When I got there she gave me lots of support and she stayed with me while I cried my eyes out until it was time for her to get ready to go to work. After she left I just sat on the bed in the spare room eating ice cream and watching a romance movie. I let myself become engrossed in the movie because it took my mind off what had just happened, and it was so interesting that I did not hear the front door unlock, nor did I hear that there was someone in my room looking at me. When I got up to go to the rest room that’s when I saw him – James was standing at the door.

“What are you doing here James?” I asked, walking backwards towards the safety of the bed, trying to be as calm as possible.

“I have come for you, Mary. I’m sure that you must have guessed that.”

I tried to run out of the room but I couldn’t since he was blocking the path. He pushed me down onto the floor and when I tried to get up he held me down. Looking into those black, glaring eyes was not so cute anymore. Now they look dangerous and evil. He smiled at me and kissed me, which I squirmed away from in an attempt to prevent, but I wasn’t able to.

“You are a pretty thing” he said, all the while playing with my hair. Then he began dragging it, forcing me into a sitting position.

“Stop!!” I scream, “You’re hurting me”

“Yes I know. Get up and sit on the bed. I want to make love to you”

“I don’t want you to ever touch me again” I shouted. He slapped me across the face again and dragged me towards the bed with so much force that I twisted my arm in the process. He shoved me onto the bed – that’s when the tears began to roll from my eyes down my cheeks causing everything to become blurry. I was scared for my life as I could hear him behind me talking off his clothes, so with as much force as possible I pushed at him causing him to fall to the ground and I made a run for it towards the front door. Before I could make it out he grabbed me by the hair, dragging me as I struggle to get away. I hit and punch with as much energy as I could muster, but he is too strong. He began hitting me with his fist, causing me to be in so much pain. Before we knew it we were in the kitchen fighting. I grabbed a cooking pan and whacked him with it and that’s when he reached for the knife and cut me. Blood was everywhere from the cut that was bleeding on my hand. “Let go of me – please!”

“Never. If I can’t be with you anymore then you simply must die.” I struggled with him, trying to get away while he was holding the knife close to me. The more I struggled the more I got cut, so I reached for a knife also, hoping that he would let me go. But when I looked into his eyes he was full of hate, and he stabbed after me. I finally got loose and my knife ended up with the blade in his stomach. He looked at me again and fell to the ground.

I screamed and cried for help until my lungs hurt. I just sat there looking at James motionless body with his eyes with no spark, just blank, looking at me. I was there for two hours until my friend came home and saw what had happened and called the police. When they came they question me and I explained what had happened and that it was self defense. That night I just cried myself to sleep.

It took a long time for me to get over it, the fact that he was abusive and controlling and I never saw it coming. That’s how it is sometimes; there is so much happiness in your life that you don’t even see the simple mistake of falling in love with an abuser, and the signs that can become a very dangerous addiction to that person who you think cares so much about you. But once you see a red flag don’t ignore it because it can become something that will harm you, and maybe even those close to you and around you.

~.* ♥ *.~

Update: The first novel in our series of seven is now published, and is a courageous story of a young teen growing up in a home filled with domestic violence, and how she manoeuvres her way through such a difficult situation. Click here if you’d like to know more about this novel.

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