Dating Tips for Single Women
Check out these wise dating tips for single women. If you follow their advice, you’ll avoid getting into relationships that you don’t want, and losing opportunities that you do:
When you first start dating someone, keep your focus on your own life. Avoid making the other individual the full focus of your attention. If you turn your attention totally to them, they will feel suffocated and will run. Keep in mind that their initial attraction to you was because you “have a life.” You have your own thoughts and feelings about the world. Your date wanted to become a part of that, not become the totality of your world to the point where you drop everything else.
Attractive Women
The most attractive women are those who are confident and can have an inter-dependent relationship. Inter-dependence is where you are independent of your partner in your day to day life. Yet you create dependence with him or her within your relationship. In other words, you create a special place in your life for your relationship. Meanwhile you go about the other things in your life with the same focus that you have always had. In other words, you don’t drop your work, interests, hobbies and friends.
Maintain Your Own Life
Don’t cease to do the things that you enjoy. Continue doing what you were doing before you started going out with him or her. Continue your workshops, your reading, your interaction with your friends, your sports, your spiritual activities, etc. Many people are afraid of commitment (so they might need a little more time than you to decide if you’re the one).
Even if a man or woman is ready for a relationship, if you bring up too early on in the dating process that you’d like to be in a relationship with that individual, they are likely to wonder whether you really want to be in a relationship with them or if you’re ready for a relationship with anyone. In their mind they will question why, after only two lunches, several phone conversations and one movie, you already know that you want that man or woman to be in a relationship with you.
Set Some Healthy Boundaries
Having said that, if the individual whom you are dating keeps pushing for sex or even sex talk too early on, speak up. By all means bring up the topic of relationships and what you want from a relationship. If that man or woman feels that they have a right to push you to provide any kind of sexual stimulation, whether it be foreplay, full-on intercourse, or even just sex talk, then push back against their desire by telling them what you want from a relationship.
It should be love or nothing if you want a proper relationship. If you do, then your own time limits should be applied to the dating scenario. If the guy pushes for sex, make him wait – for any kind of sexual pleasure. Please excuse the expression, but ‘fuck that’ to giving it away too soon, to use an irony.
Getting to know someone takes time – way longer than one or two dates. If you’re going to give yourself away so easily, you obviously have no self respect. Save yourself for someone who truly deserves you. When the guy pushes for sex too early on if you clearly want a long term relationship, it is an infringement. Sex includes any form of sexual stimulation. You have every right to speak your mind under such circumstances, because it’s likely that you’ll merely be used if you don’t.
Observe Their Behaviour
On the other hand, if your suitor is being courteous and is not infringing on you, then take the time to get to know him a little before mentioning what your dating goals are. This may not occur until at least date three or four, and possibly longer. Then you’ll both feel more comfortable raising the subject because if you’ve reached date number four, then there’s at least some interest there.
Use the time on the first few dates to develop your understanding of who this man or woman is. Ask a lot of questions and find out what their views are. Make sure that you suss out what his or her attitudes are towards past girlfriends, because if they’re scathing of past partners or of women in general, then it’s likely that they will be abusive once they are in a relationship with you.
Where Attraction Begins
In men, the first attraction always starts in the groin. If you let him, he will want to come home with you after the first date, but if he’s looking for a girlfriend then deep down he is secretly hoping that you’ll say no to that idea. He wants to know whether or not you’re picky about whom you share yourself with. Then, when and if you decide that you’ll do so with him, he’ll feel as if he’s been chosen rather than just latched on to. He’d secretly rather wait for however long it takes before he sleeps with you, if he wants you to be his girlfriend.
Girlfriend or Conquest?
This is also the time to test whether he genuinely wants to be with you or not. If he doesn’t begin to open up about his intentions regarding a relationship after about date number four, then all that he wanted was some casual fun. If you don’t want that, then it’s best to avoid getting hurt by not giving in to him when he pressures you for sex.
Plus, when women do sleep with a man too early on in the dating process, it usually brings up all their fears and insecurities around whether or not he’ll leave. This causes the very same thing to occur because she starts acting really strange when she gets insecure. So don’t. Simply don’t sleep with a guy until you are thoroughly and totally convinced that he’s shown you that he truly wants to be with you in a relationship. Until then, there are always other ways he can satisfy his needs, so it’s not as if you have to do it for him.
Balance
Make sure that there is balance in your communications. It should be like a game of tennis. One player hits the ball to the other, and the other hits it back again. The game can’t continue if one player keeps picking up new balls to hit over the net all the time, without waiting for the first ball to return. Play the dating game the same way. To find out if he’s sincerely interested in you or not, simply wait for him to return or initiate the communication. If he doesn’t then it’s pretty obvious what your next move should be. Move on, sister! Move on. You deserve to be loved, not used.
Exclusivity
If you want an exclusive relationship with a man, then you need to voice what you want right from the start. Plus, you need to ask him if he thinks he has a right to sleep with other women when he’s in a relationship. If the answer that you get is truthful, you will know it. If it’s not, then your body will cringe because he’s lying to you. Determining the truth when someone speaks with us is easy…. if we feel uncomfortable with what was just said, it’s likely to be a lie.
So he tells you he wants to introduce you to his sister? Awesome! That introduction still doesn’t mean that you’re exclusive. Try something like, “You know, I’d really like not to see other people. How do you feel about that?” If he gives you an answer you aren’t looking for, then tell him that “It’s time you found someone else, because you’re not the one for him.” And if he gives you a yes, fantastic! Go for it!
Not All Men Are the Same
Each man is an individual, so each man is going to approach relationships from a different angle. Many men think that they don’t have to have an exclusive relationship, and they know how women feel about that topic so they won’t admit to it very often. But not every man is the same, so give each one the chance to show you how he is and who he is. Don’t allow past hurts to get in the way of finding a decent and loving partner to accompany you on your journey through life.
~.* ♥ *.~
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