Although this blog is written in support of helping women leave violent relationships, I’m also very highly aware of how women can use lies against a partner in order to gain some kind of vengeance against him for something he may or may not have done. Violence and abuse isn’t limited to men alone. I have zero tolerance for any woman who lies about her partner or ex-partner in order to gain benefit in her own life. This is not what my organisation is about.
I’ve heard dozens of accounts of men’s situations where women have lied to get either government help or to harm their ex partner in some way, which always leaves the man behest as to why she is doing it and shatters not only his belief in women but his belief in himself. Men don’t cope with the breakdown of a marriage or relationship as well as women do, and I’ve heard many stories of them committing suicide as a result of such a breakdown. Women use the children in a game of power over their ex partner, which isn’t healthy for either themselves or their children. Children need to have a good relationship with their father, even if the children’s parents have separated, so if he is not a harmful man then you should never try to hurt his relationship with his children or hurt him by preventing him having a relationship with his children.
I encourage all women to speak the truth at all times. If you are genuinely in a violent relationship, then my blog and my organisation is here to support you. But don’t ever lie to me, because this is not what we are about. I don’t hate men, and my organisation is not about hating men, so therefore you must be honest if you come to us for help. Do not accuse your partner of being violent and do not accuse a man of raping you unless it’s the truth. I am here to help solve problems, not to participate in creating them.
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