Women’s Self Image: Most Don’t Feel Attractive


It is a common thread amongst women that they don’t believe they are very attractive.  This is due to the constant bombardment by everything around them, from the television, to the magazines, to the music they listen to, to the movies they go and see, to the billboards that do the advertising, to the packaging that products come in. It’s everywhere! There is a certain look that is deemed appealing, and we are constantly indoctrinated to believe that this is what men want because of the amount of times that this idea is repeated to us. The truth of the matter is far from that, of course. Men make up their own mind as to what they find attractive, and most would have a different view of what they think is attractive to what the media portrays that they think is attractive.

A woman’s attractiveness is individual and is something that only the person doing the looking can determine. She will appeal to a potential partner who likes someone with her particular look, but attractiveness is not limited to looks alone. We’ve all met people who look ”beautiful” but who have a hard and cold attitude, which detracts from their physical beauty incredibly. So what does that say about where true beauty lies?  If arrogance and disdain turns people away, doesn’t that suggest that it’s inner beauty that is most important?  Even if you are “beautiful” as such, if you aren’t a nice person nobody is going to want to spend much time with you. So good looks don’t help at all if you don’t have a good heart to go with it.

The most handsome guys often don’t have stunning partners. Often they are partnered with what some would call “plain janes” and that is because real attractiveness and beauty truly are inner qualities. These ”plain janes” have an openness, warmth and friendliness that make them very approachable. Yet, within every woman is a sense that she doesn’t measure up in some way, and this attitude is rampant throughout the world because women have inherited hundreds of years of conditioning that says that they have to be a certain way to be acceptable. The various different ways she has to become acceptable are multiple and numerous, and so there is a sense of never ever really being quite good enough for many women. Women just need to realise that if they open their hearts to others, be good and kind individuals, and seek to not lean on others but instead be strong, then what and who they are is more than good enough. If a woman remains self-contained and confident, she doesn’t have to do very much to arouse the interest of the right partner for her. She will naturally pull to her a strong and caring mate.

I’m a woman and when I look at other women all I see mostly is beauty.  Even when they say that they aren’t attractive, I look and think to myself that they have much to like about themselves….. they just aren’t acknowledging it.  So, I encourage all you ladies who are less than satisfied with yourself to look for those things that others see in you that are beautiful.  In order to develop confidence you have to be able to see those things, because without you knowing about those things within yourself, you’re always going to feel unattractive.  Try to see the beauty that you do have, because like I said, when I see other women there’s very rarely ever a time that I don’t see beauty in them.

If you have any kind of self doubt, go to the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful. Write in a journal all the times you’ve encouraged another, or helped them, or sacrificed your time for them.  All of those things show your beauty… your inner beauty.  You mustn’t forget to acknowledge that about yourself.  You, the time you’ve given to others and the things you’ve done for them, are beautiful – always remember that.